Hm - a relevant question - is successfully disciplining and managing children's behaviour about control?
I saw a woman with a dog walk by my house the other day. Well, I heard her shout at first. The dog wouldn't walk on the lead, pulled back and sat down, slipped its leash and ran towards the main road. The woman shouted in a panicky voice and fortunately the dog stopped and allowed her to approach and put on the leash. She tried again to get it down the road and the dog repeated its actions. It was the wrong place for this to happen and she was taking the wrong approach and she didn't have a collar that was tight enough. What did she do? She gave in and took the dog in the direction it was insisting on going! Not a good training session.... no control - well not by the one who should have had control anyway. In addition the dog was put into danger for its life.
A few days ago I was driving and noticed a woman waiting to cross the road with 2 children either side of a pram. One child ran into the road in front of my car. Fortunately I was being observant and not in a dream and stopped before hitting the child. The situation could have been distastrous. The woman had few options - leave the pram and other child, push the pram and the other child into the road to rescue the one in the middle, scream at the child - all the options were risky. The same as the lady with the dog the situation arose because the adult didn't have control of the situation and three children were put into a dangerous position.
The question I raised earlier was to ask if control is the basis of effectively managing children's behaviour. And the answer? Yes it is about control but controlling in the correct way.
Many adults seem to think that there is something wrong with being responsible for the control and discipline of children. It is claimed by many that such controls are detrimental to children's development, their ability to express themselves and imaginative advancement. Very young children are allowed, even encouraged, to be independent long before they have the emotional maturity to be so - they are seen in shops, streets, parks and on river banks without adults being close enough (even attached) to rapidly intervene if the need arises. How can adult control be so wrong when without it children's lives can be endangered?
Tell you what - that little kid would have had its development well and truly limited under the front of my car, wouldn't it? There wouldn't have been much free expression or imagination going on there! The panic stricken collie wouldn't have enjoyed any more walks if it had ended up under a car or lorry, would it?
People often say to me that children have changed. No children haven't changed - but what has changed is adults' attitude towards children.
Children have to learn how their world works, and to mature into confident and successful adults they have to have the guidance and training from the adults around them. Without the essesntial lessons in 'growing up' they are unable to mature appropriately. These lessons are discipline - necessary if we want to avoid maturation coming to a halt at the age of 3 and children unable to control their own behaviour when something doesn't suit them.
So, what's my message about controlling children and its place in effective discipline and behaviour management? It's a strong message - until a child has self control, it has to be controlled. That's it, pure and simple.
It is vitally important that the correct control and discipline techniques are used so children develop to be self controlled, confident and independent. The correct strategies can easily be learned by anyone - read Behaviour Bible and practise my successful classroom management techniques. Stress will fall, standards will rise. - 31521
I saw a woman with a dog walk by my house the other day. Well, I heard her shout at first. The dog wouldn't walk on the lead, pulled back and sat down, slipped its leash and ran towards the main road. The woman shouted in a panicky voice and fortunately the dog stopped and allowed her to approach and put on the leash. She tried again to get it down the road and the dog repeated its actions. It was the wrong place for this to happen and she was taking the wrong approach and she didn't have a collar that was tight enough. What did she do? She gave in and took the dog in the direction it was insisting on going! Not a good training session.... no control - well not by the one who should have had control anyway. In addition the dog was put into danger for its life.
A few days ago I was driving and noticed a woman waiting to cross the road with 2 children either side of a pram. One child ran into the road in front of my car. Fortunately I was being observant and not in a dream and stopped before hitting the child. The situation could have been distastrous. The woman had few options - leave the pram and other child, push the pram and the other child into the road to rescue the one in the middle, scream at the child - all the options were risky. The same as the lady with the dog the situation arose because the adult didn't have control of the situation and three children were put into a dangerous position.
The question I raised earlier was to ask if control is the basis of effectively managing children's behaviour. And the answer? Yes it is about control but controlling in the correct way.
Many adults seem to think that there is something wrong with being responsible for the control and discipline of children. It is claimed by many that such controls are detrimental to children's development, their ability to express themselves and imaginative advancement. Very young children are allowed, even encouraged, to be independent long before they have the emotional maturity to be so - they are seen in shops, streets, parks and on river banks without adults being close enough (even attached) to rapidly intervene if the need arises. How can adult control be so wrong when without it children's lives can be endangered?
Tell you what - that little kid would have had its development well and truly limited under the front of my car, wouldn't it? There wouldn't have been much free expression or imagination going on there! The panic stricken collie wouldn't have enjoyed any more walks if it had ended up under a car or lorry, would it?
People often say to me that children have changed. No children haven't changed - but what has changed is adults' attitude towards children.
Children have to learn how their world works, and to mature into confident and successful adults they have to have the guidance and training from the adults around them. Without the essesntial lessons in 'growing up' they are unable to mature appropriately. These lessons are discipline - necessary if we want to avoid maturation coming to a halt at the age of 3 and children unable to control their own behaviour when something doesn't suit them.
So, what's my message about controlling children and its place in effective discipline and behaviour management? It's a strong message - until a child has self control, it has to be controlled. That's it, pure and simple.
It is vitally important that the correct control and discipline techniques are used so children develop to be self controlled, confident and independent. The correct strategies can easily be learned by anyone - read Behaviour Bible and practise my successful classroom management techniques. Stress will fall, standards will rise. - 31521
About the Author:
Liz Marsden successfully manages children's out of control behaviour every working day. You can take advantage of her expertise and skill in her book, Behaviour Bible where she gives you the same invaluable advice that she uses herself and uses to train teachers, trainee teachers and support workers. Read about her daily class encounters and gain gain further insight into her work.
